Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Part 2 of my return

This may have to be a 3 part series.  Lots has happened in two years.  I want to clear one thing up first though, I DID NOT GET FIRED!  I have never been fired from a job and don't ever intend on getting fired from a job.  I quit because I needed to, my friends and family begged me to, and in many ways I wanted to.  Now while my current situation is not ideal, I do believe it or not have a game plan.  
Hopefully a better one than this.

I can still pick a winner from a pile of screenplays, I still have friends in high places, and I do have what I like to call a slush fund.  So eventually I will get something made, but how I plan to go about this I am still debating.  I am done with big studio, that much I know for sure.  I have thought about starting my own indie studio, but those are a dime a dozen and the return on investment is few and far between...wait does that make sense?  Fuck it, anyway...I think what I ideally want to do is be an independent producer.  I want to be a venture capitalist of films of sorts.  Basically I find a good script, I get people on board, and I sell it as a package deal.  Easier said than done, but then again WWTSD  (What Would Tony Stark Do).
I'd still do her

So back to these three or so scripts that I discovered.  Well turns out one was discovered and already on the Black List, so fuck me.  So back to these two or so scripts that I discovered.  The great thing about an unknown writer is it's cheap to option, the bad thing about an unknown writer is well...they are unknown.  Needless to say that doesn't help with the sell.  I once knew a a guy that had his unknown writers take on pen names that sounded like well known writers.  For example: Erin Sarchin   And you know what?  It worked!  According to him the scripts with author pen names made it further along in the process than others.  What the actual stats were I have no idea, but that's some Freakonomics shit right there.
If only they really knew.
The options for these scripts are out and I am waiting to here back while the writers talk it over with their mommys, fuck buddies, imaginary friends, and puppets.  Notice how I did not say agent, that's because none of them have agents!  Yep, how the mighty have fallen.
Sorry I had to.

Step two will be getting a well known actor on board.  That in itself is the hardest piece of the puzzle. Sure I could scoop up some C list person on the verge of career suicide and about to do something on Broadway.  But if isn't that like buying a new suite and settling for the upper 30's divorciĆ© smoking a menthol at the end of the bar?  Fuck that!  You didn't pony up 3 bills for that suite for nothing!  You know you want the smoking hot wannabe actress from Wisconsin who just got rejected at and audition and is drowning her miseries in appletinis.  Because you know...you can help her with her career and stuff...
The only actress I know from Wisconsin

Monday, August 20, 2012

Help a guy out

Anyone out there have any idea how I can recover my old posts?  If so there is a fridge full of beer in my house with your name on it...just keep in mind its about 60 days old, drink at your own risk.
She unfortunately is not included

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Part 1 of my return

Rehab is for quitters, an unfortunately I am a quitter.  Now before you get all Hollywood cliche on me, let me state that I was an alcoholic well before I came to Tinsel Town.  I am Irish after all, we are born alcoholics...my mother have me Miller Lite instead of breast milk...or so I like to think.  Oh Miller Lite, how I will miss thee!
Thank you Lacey, Jacey, and Tracey for many years of pouring me a cold one that had more taste and was less filling.

I have actually never done drugs, shocking I know!  Unless you count pot, but I don't.  Anyway, yes I let The Man get to me and got sick of taking it up the proverbial poop shoot and I turned to my three best friends, Jim, Jack, and Johnny.  I spent 60 days in rehab, 30 which were necessary, 30 for good measure.  Thursdays were the worst, not having my traditional Thursday sixer was a killer.  But enough depressing shit, let's get back to why I am back and why maybe two of you are reading this. While in the drunk tank I read scripts...I read a ton...and I read great scripts.  And I can not fucking wait to see them get made!  3 of them are from unknown, unsigned writers...see wannabees there is hope after all...maybe not much, but rest assured some ex-studio exec is in rehab somewhere trying to power through your literary slop while shaking like a rabid dog because he use to do more lines than Nicholas Cage does bad movies.
A movie about elephants that learn karate?  Come to daddy!

Now how am I going to get these movies made?!  I have no fucking idea!  Welcome to my new status, I am currently one of the 9% of Americans that are jobless.  Send food stamps my way.
My new best friend
I am only halfway kidding.  I do know one thing though, there is nothing more that this town loves than a fucking comeback!
Tony Stark gives me faith

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Hot girl

For good measure, because it's been so long, here is that hot girl from that show on USA...do they think they can make shows good on that network by just having hot female leads?

Guess who's back?

I'M BACK BITCHES!  You likely thought I was dead, you were half right...I probably no longer have any readers, fuck it I'll write anyway.

Looks like all my posts got deleted, guess that's what happens after a two year hiatus...reminds me of a quote from Animal House: "The took the bar...they took the whole bar!"

Anyway, post coming soon.  Lots to update, but lets just say I am my own boss now.  You know what's better than being your own boss?  Absolutely fucking nothing!